Friday, January 02, 2004

Why Doesn't Anyone Ever Play With Me?

At my mother's annual Christmas Eve party, everyone always ends up wanting to play Christmas Charades. This usually involves my friend Steve sitting down and coming up with some Christmas Categories, then writing down a bunch of Holiday answers. These get put in a hat and pulled out by the players as they take their turns.

This year, I got to write the clues instead of Steve. Here are some of the categories and clues I came up with:

Category One: Things You Don't Want To Find Christmas Morning.
Grandma: Post-Reindeer
The Head of your Prize Racehose Next to You in Bed
A Foot In Your Stocking
A Dead Hooker
Satan and a host of ghoulish imps awaiting you in the flames at the bottom of a gaping pit, holding many fiendish devices of torture and laughing, laughing...
Matrix: Revolutions

Category Two: Christmas Movies That Will Never Be Made.
Frosty the Drag Queen
It's a Horrible Life
I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
Rudolph, The Red Nosed Venison
Perry Como's Christmas in Baghdad
It Was An Accident, Charlie Brown!
A Lovecraft Christmas
Santa's Dirty Little Secret

Now no one wants to play charades with me anymore...

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