Monday, September 08, 2003

Pea Impersonators Revealed
From the Spit-In-The-Bucket, Tennessee Post

The world of axioms was dealt a near fatal blow Monday when Jebediah Smith, a local farmer, began harvesting his crop.

“I thought something was awful funny when I noticed that there pea plant was being pulled all the way down to the dirt. I picked the pod and had to get my boy Jeremiah and my girl Jemima to come help me lift it into the wagon. I cut it open and found this!” Smith said as he gestured proudly toward a cantaloupe sitting on the trailer behind his John Deere.

Further investigation revealed that in addition to the melon, the pod also contained a caper, a cashew, three very little pigs, and only one lonesome snow pea. This reporter has no choice but to conclude that, whatever the world may bring, things in a pod will never be the same, or similar, again.

When asked to comment on the sweeping changes that his bizarre find is going to have on the world of trite phrases, Smith had this to say, “It don’t bother me. I avoid cliches like the plague.”

But the real question in this, as in all of life's experiences, is, has Smith learned anything from his strange experience? “Yeah! Next year, I’m planting corn.”

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