Thursday, April 17, 2003

I'm a leech

Have you ever been confronted with your true nature? Have you ever looked yourself in the great reflecting pool of life and said, "What the fuck is that?" I just did. And after I said that I said "Wow, I'm a sort of amorphous mass who is long and slimy, with a suction cup-like mouth filled with a ring of razor sharp teeth. And my saliva contains anti-coagulant and pain-killer. I wonder what I am."

Then I wandered the face of the planet like Kane from Kung-fu, and everywhere I went I asked the simple question, "Are you my mommy?"

The lions said "No, you are not a lion."

The cheetahs said "No, you are not a cheetah."

The octopus said "No, you are not an octopus."

The platypus said "Shit, you ain't no platypus, you a goddammed freak!"

But the leech. The leech held me to her sticky, gelatinous breast and I suckled, because, hey, that's what leeches do, and she cried, "My son, my son!"

That's right....I'm a leech. I have taken to putting comments on every website I find in the hopes of getting 1 damn person to read this. Am I this starved for attention?

I loathe my blood-sucking, worm-like self.

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