How To Not Pick Up Chicks
I was out with my friend Bill, and he was amazed at my ability to talk to any girl in the club. After he had pestered me enough about my skills with the ladies, I finally decided to let him in on the secret.
"Well," I said, "I use a little wordplay to figure out if they are going to be receptive. I walk up to a girl and say 'Can I tickle your ass with a feather?' If she laughs, I'm in. If she says 'What?' then I say 'I said particularly nasty weather.'"
"Wow!" says Bill, who is by this time quite inebriated, "Can I try it?"
Bill approaches the hottest girl in the club and says, "Can I stick a feather up your ass?"
"What did you just say?"
"It's gonna fucking rain."