Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Family Circumlocution

I was over at John Moe's site, and he pointed out the "Infamous Family Circus Customer Reviews." Stupidly, I follow the link, and almost immediately am greeted by this:

"There is a certain sadness one feels in remembering happy times: turning over the last page of a good novel, and reflecting over the wonders we have just experienced, the characters who have become our friends; discovering old pictures, seeing ourselves in the halcyon throes of youth, silly smiles on our innocent faces; the plangent last notes of a Chopin nocturne, the theme, growing softer and softer now, floating across the room to rest against our face like the rhythmic breaths of a peaceful, sleeping lover."

Not only is this the longest, choppiest, most irritating sentence I've ever read, but I have no idea what the fuck it says. It is very fitting, therefore, that it is in a review for a book called "What does this say?" I personally wouldn't be sad if a nocturne by Frederick Fucking Chopin floated across the room and rested against my face, I'd flip out and think it was an acid flashback. Anyway, if you want to read the work of people who sit around with an open thesaurus and try to outdo each other both in verbosity and righteousness, follow this link. And, if you want more suffering, go here. And when you decide you still haven't had enough, check this shit out.

Thanks, John, I needed a mindfuck.

No comments: